It is no secret that infidelity can be unpleasant and painful for all involved. Often, we find ourselves in the middle of it when we least expect it at all. For this reason, it is best not to think about the details of the affair and not to dwell too much on what happened prior to the affair. The moment you discover that your partner is having an affair, you have only two options for moving on.
1. Decide to separate/divorce.
2. overcome the problem and try to save the relationship.
Not knowing every detail is more beneficial to the relationship
If you have chosen the second path, forgiveness and rebuilding the relationship, or saving the relationship, I strongly recommend that you do not review your partner\’s infidelity with him. Examining every little detail could greatly jeopardize your attitude and your relationship with your loved one despite the mistakes you have made that have harmed both of you.
Your partner may painfully regret what has happened, that he or she has hurt you and not only you, but also the relationship you were building. Regret in this case is the greatest punishment that can befall your partner. There is no rule or law that says adultery is unacceptable, and depending on many factors and circumstances (including your feelings for him), you can have the courage and faith that all can be saved.
Therefore, dissecting the details of the affair will have no positive effect on regaining your partner\’s trust; on the contrary, it will certainly bury their relationship.
Curiosity – how to deal with it?23]
It is understandable to be curious not only why your life partner did it, but with whom, where, and of course how often. But sometimes it is more helpful not to search for all the details of what happened while you were clueless. If you are going to continue to live with them, you will have to deal with uncertainty and many questions. So while there is nothing wrong with going to counseling, there is also nothing wrong with coming to a place of self-awareness where you realize that you are partly responsible for your partner\’s infidelity.
In order to overcome this together, you need to acknowledge the fact that you too have neglected something in your relationship and, as a result, need to fix it. Whether it is time spent together, a change in behavior, or a difficult nature, there is always a need to work on a perfect affair-free relationship from both sides.